Tell me if this rings true with your family as well – each year, on either December 31st or January 1st, we go around in a circle and share at least one goal that we have for the upcoming year. We share something in the past year that we were happy about and one thing that we weren’t so happy about, and how we want to be better in the upcoming year. But by mid-February, most of us have forgotten our goal, or have found out that it is far more difficult than we originally anticipated, or just decided that life got in the way. In a few more months, we can hardly remember the goals that we had set up for ourselves on January 1st.
This is far more common than you would imagine, and after reading lots of psychology, philosophy, neurobiology, and self-improvement articles and books, I wanted to share some ways that you can improve yourself with more successful methods, so that you can become the best version of yourself.
I recently read Atomic Habits by James Clear and it taught me a lot about how to implement systems of change, improving ourselves via an identity-based approach, and discovering good habits while eliminating bad and unproductive habits. I would recommend you reading through it if you’re interested in some of what I’m writing about in this article, and I will share some links and helpful articles if you would like to learn some more about the science behind identity and habits-based change.
I’ll write more about this topic in future blog posts, but for now I would like to share an important insight I learned from the book that helped me rethink how I form goals and change myself.
In the book, author James Clear shares that we can focus on changes to in our goals or we can focus on changes to our systems. In almost all cases, focusing on goals often fails, whereas focusing on systems succeeds.
It is more effective to focus on the systems that we create (eating healthy, doing face wash and skin care, studying for two hours a day, writing 10 pages a day, spending time with our family for 20 minutes everyday) because eventually, we can create everyday good habits that we can perform effectively without thinking consciously about it. However, creating goals (losing 20 pounds in 3 months, getting a six pack, getting all As, getting a job, etc) makes us goal-oriented, always focused on the end goal, and makes us discouraged when we might not make significant progress everyday.
So instead of making resolutions that are focused on the goals that you have, try making resolutions about the systems that you will implement in your life.
Instead of saying that you will have a clean face by May, say that you will moisturize your face every morning after brushing your teeth, and that you will add tea tree oil before sleeping every night.
Instead of saying that you will get a new job, say that you will make three calls every weekend, to find new opportunities and obtain more interview offers. Instead of saying that you will spend more time with your family, say that you will set aside 1 hour after dinner every night to play a game or spend time with your loved ones.
Instead of saying that you will lose 25 pounds, start counting your macros and your calories, and hit some target protein and caloric intake value every day.
Essentially, focus on your systems. Focus on achieving a small victory every single day, and as you move further and further into the year, build upon your system. You’ll notice how much easier and more productive you can be in achieving the best identity of yourself by focusing on systems rather than goals.
I hope this was helpful! I’ve been trying to focus on systems myself recently, and it’s been helping me move towards a more positive direction with who I want to be and the habits that I try to sustain. Thank you so much for reading this far; I appreciate all your time greatly!
Cheers!
Naman
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